Love and Hate
by lndigo
Summary: After Eclipse. Jacob can't get over Bella and has alienated himself from the pack. Bella's been changed, and she and Edward are coming back to Forks. Can affection and loathing really live in the same heart? BxE.Formerly titled After.
1. Return

**This is my first for Twilight, so forgive me if it sucks. It takes place after **_**Eclipse**_**, so I guess you could call it my version of **_**Breaking Dawn.**_** I doubt it'll be very long.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly. **

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_Jake, you can't keep moping forever! Get over her already, it's been months! _

I growled and kept running. _You're one to talk._ Why didn't Leah get it that I just wanted to be left alone? It wasn't as if she had anything helpful to say.

_You did not just say that. _The gray wolf running behind me increased her speed, nipping at my tail.

_Shut up. Why do you keep following me anyway? You're not helping._

_You're depressing me. I don't need to be depressed._

Of course, that was it. Selfish as always. _If you don't like what I'm thinking, stay out of my head. _

_I would if I had a choice. I can't, Sam said-_

I spun around to face the smaller wolf. _Sam said what?_ I growled.

_He told me to keep an eye on you, make sure you don't try anything stupid. _

I snarled, and abruptly changed directions, weaving through the trees. How had I missed that? _Tell Sam to mind his own business. And LEAVE ME ALONE! _

_I would, but I can't. You know how the rules work. _

_Stuff it. I don't want a lecture from you, too. You can "keep an eye on me" from a distance. _I snorted. Sam underestimated my judgment. It wasn't like I was going to go charging off. She had chosen the leech. I had no say in the matter, not anymore.

_Like you ever had any influence over her. _

_Shut UP, Leah. If the stupid bloodsuckers had just left her alone, you wouldn't be in my head now, and she would still be here. _

_You think I don't hate them as much as you do? Remember, it was those same vampires that made Sam phase. _

_Leave, before I take my hatred out on you. _I faced her again, snarling and bristling. She didn't stand a chance if I decided to pick a fight.

_Fine. _She turned tail and trotted off the way we had come. _Don't try anything, or I'll get hell from Sam._

I was tempted to do something really idiotic, just to spite her, but decided against it. It was better just to run. When you were running, you didn't have to think. You could forget everything that had happened, lose yourself in the motion. It was better that way.

_Or so you think._

_Will you just go already! _

_You think very loudly sometimes, did you know that?_

_I've been informed. Now get of my head._

_As you command…_

I started running.

* * *

"Please?" 

"No."

"Pretty, pretty please?"

"Bella, I'm not taking you hunting. You need to learn to deal with the thirst."

I looked up at Edward, doing my best puppy dog eyes. "Not even one little deer?"

He kissed my protruding lower lip. "Sorry."

I mock glared at him. "You're no fun."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" He grinned deviously "Let's see about that."

"Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no." I protested, knowing what was coming. I held up my hands to stop him, but it was too late. He threw me to the ground and started tickling me mercilessly.

"Ed...ward…if you… think you're gonna…get away…with this…" I managed between giggles.

He smiled his angelic smile at me. "Enough," he said, helping me up. "We'll feed just before we reach Forks. It's not far now."

"Oh, that's where you've been leading me," I said, sudden knowledge flaring like a lit match in my brain. "I thought we were going to see Emmet and Rosalie."

Edward smiled again. "We are. They're home 'visiting from college'. It is a long weekend, you know."

I frowned. It couldn't be July already, could it? "What month is it?" I asked.

"It's May."

"May? Really?" Of course, it was hard to tell what time of year it was, north of the arctic circle. I just didn't think I'd been changed for so _long_ already. I started to get hopeful. I could see Charlie again! And Angela and Jess and maybe even… I stopped before I thought the name. That was impossible. Too much had changed, including me. It was too dangerous, even if it wasn't against the rules of the treaty.

"Bella?" Edward's velvet voice jerked me back to reality. "What are you thinking about?"

I gulped, swallowing my tumultuous emotions. "Seeing Charlie again."

His expression softened. "I'm sorry. I mislead you. Your control isn't strong enough yet to go into town."

My face fell. Edward gathered me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. "I'm sorry," He whispered again. "In a few years, maybe. But not now."

"That's OK." I said with a false brightness. "It'll be nice to the rest of our family again."

He smiled, my favorite crooked smile, and we resumed our journey, sprinting off through the woods.

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**That's it for now. I'll put another installment in soon. **_**Constructive **_**criticism welcome. Please review!** **If you do, Edward will give you a virtual hug!**


	2. Reunion

**I know this chapter is bad, but I couldn't figure out how to phrase it correctly. Jacob is very hard to write for. Stupid wolf.**

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

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I sighed in contentment and leaned back against Edward. "That was good." 

"Everything tastes better when you're thirsty." He replied. "Though honestly, you are very messy. I think you got more blood on you than in you."

"So you've been saying," I said, as his arms wrapped around me. "I've always been a messy eater. Why should that change just because we're not in Alaska?"

He kissed my cheek. "Silly Bella."

"What?" I protested. I didn't like being called silly. "Why?"

"Why what?" He asked, obviously confused by my question.

"Why am I silly?"

He pulled me closer to his body, his arms protective. "You're so unlike other newborns I've know." He answered. "When I was changed, Carlisle and Esme wouldn't have dreamed of taking me anywhere remotely near humans for the first two years. You have more control than is to be expected, but your senses and hunting skills are as dull as they were when you were first changed." He shook his head slowly. "I don't understand it."

I leaned my head against his chest and tilted my face up. "It's not _my_ fault."

"I know." He sighed. "It's just another thing I don't understand about you. But we should get going. They're expecting us around nightfall."

I reluctantly disentangled myself from Edward and got to my feet. "Lead the way."

* * *

"Edward?" I sniffed the air, trying not to gag. "What's that awful smell?" 

He ran a few paces back to where I was, and sniffed. "Ugh." He said, an expression of disgust twisting his perfect face. "We have to go. Come on." He tugged on my arm, pulling me back the way we had come. I resisted, reclaiming my arm.

"What's wrong?" I asked. The smell wasn't so powerful anymore and it seemed kind of…familiar. "Edward, tell me."

His features changed again, reflecting anger and… was that fear? "Bella, trust me, we do not want to get involved in this. Now let's go." He tugged on my arm again, towing me back towards the forest.

"Edward!" I gritted my teeth in irritation. He was always too protective. "Just tell me, and I'll come."

He spoke quickly, urgency creeping into his voice. "We must've crossed the northern border. I thought we were farther east."

I frowned. "Which border?"

But he didn't get a chance to answer. A huge, russet-brown wolf burst out of the trees, running at full speed, then grinding to an abrupt stop. His eyes widened, and a low snarl came from his throat.

I ran.

Glancing back, I saw Jacob's tail disappear into the brush.

* * *

She was a leech. My mind tried to grasp the concept, and failed. A _vampire. _It would have been better if the bloodsucker had just killed her. Why would anyone choose that so-called life? Why would she choose eternal damnation over… 

I bit back the anguished howl that was building in my throat. I knew the answer. She thought she _loved_ him. I growled and increased my pace. Stupid parasite, everything he had done caused her pain. He should have just left her alone. The memory rose unbidden. _"The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse."_ It had been worth it, to see the relief on her face, that she didn't have to choose. _"Tell me the worst part." _Of course, I had to go and be stupid. To give myself _hope_. A branch shattering on my face brought me out of my thoughts. I really had to stop thinking about her. The Bella I knew was gone. She was as good as dead to me. This had to stop. I put on a burst of speed and tried to lose myself in it. It was better that way.

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**I'm sorry, that was really, really short, and it didn't really advance the story much, but it just had to happen.** **I promise something will happen next chapter. The Jacob-lovers will hate me for it**.**(No offense to the Jacob-lovers. I myself am one.) Please review; we all know how much you want Edward to hug you!**


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